The priceless benefits of alone time

By Maggie Peña

I have spent more time alone this year than ever before, and I could not be more grateful for that. I have always wanted to spend time alone, whether it be to go on walks, drive or be at home by myself. However, being the youngest of four siblings meant there were no means of doing that. Aside from kindergarten, college was the first time I had been new to a school. Since I only knew a few people at first, I kept to myself and spent a lot of time alone. While I love my friends and family and have made many friends at Rider, I have learned to value my alone time as well. When I have time to myself, I can recharge my social battery, listen to music and reflect on my day.

In high school, I often saw people sitting alone at lunch and felt bad for them, because I thought they were sitting alone unintentionally. Throughout our school careers, we were often told to be a friend to others and invite people to sit with us if we saw them sitting alone. But, now that I’m in college, I realize that a lot of people want to sit alone. We spend all day surrounded by others, whether it be in classes or extracurricular activities. Even if those people are our closest friends, it can still feel draining to interact with people all day. So, eating alone might be what others need to recharge and does not necessarily mean they are looking for someone to join them.

For someone like me who is more introverted, they might need more than a mealtime spent alone to feel replenished. For example, between my second and third classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I eat a meal and nap. Even if I want to hang out with my friends or do homework during that time, I know that I need to take a nap in order to get through the rest of the day.

In middle and high school, I felt like I had to be “on” most of the time, but I did not know what to do when I was alone. Now that I have the chance to be by myself more frequently, I am a lot more comfortable with it. I find that spending time alone has also helped me regulate my emotions. If I am angry, sad, frustrated or any other emotion, all I need is some time alone to de-escalate myself and process how I’m feeling. If I don’t get time by myself to decompress, then my feelings pile up and become overwhelming.

While I think having alone time is extremely important for one’s well-being, it is not feasible for everyone. Doing nothing with friends can also be beneficial for those who do not want to feel like they have to be “on” all the time. Instead of talking for hours with friends every time you see them, doing nothing together (i.e., going on your phone) can be a great alternative to spending time alone.

Something to note is that I have not yet used the word “lonely.” This is because I am not lonely. I choose to spend a lot of time alone and I have friends and family that I thoroughly enjoy spending time with. The time I spent at the beginning of last semester and continue to spend alone is not fueled by loneliness or sadness. Instead, I see it as an opportunity to finally exist not as a student, sibling or friend, but as an individual. So, incorporating alone time into your daily life when possible can be much more valuable than we were led to believe, especially when we shift our mindset to see it as a wonderful means of recharging and exploring individuality.

Maggie Peña is a freshman psychology major